Chapter 198

"Lose myself in memory" is the first chapter of the 23rd volume and the 198th chapter overall of the Tokyo卍Revengers manga series, written and illustrated by Ken Wakui.

Summary
In flashback from March 15, 2006, the Toman leaders promise to gather at the shrine after twelve years to open their time capsule.

Twelve years later, on the anniversary of Toman's founding, June 19, 2018, everybody but Mikey shows up. As night arrives, Draken decides to open the time capsule; Peh-yan says that although it is hard to accept, they have not seen Mikey in ten years, so they cannot expect to come today either. Pah-chin says that Mikey will be able to see the time capsule, even if he does not come today.

Opening the time capsule, Chifuyu finds an airplane magazine, which gives him nostalgia, reminding him of his childhood dreams of being a pilot. Hakkai ridicules the childishness of his dream, to which Chifuyu demands to see Hakkai's items. To Hakkai's shock, his dream is even more childish: he wanted to become an astronaut, with his letter asking if he made it to space.

When Mitsuya points this out, an embarrassed Hakkai asks to see Mitsuya's items. Mitsuya's item is a plush rabbit, which causes Hakkai to tease him, asking if Mitsuya was unable to sleep without a stuffed animal. As he reads his letter, Mitsuya explains that his poverty acted as a motivator for him. Without money to purchase toys for his sisters, he had to make them himself. From this, sewing was enjoyable when he did it for others, leading to him desiring to become a tailor. Mitsuya remarks that without being poor, he may not have reached the position he holds today.

Smiley chuckles at his letter; much to Takemichi's surprise, Angry also chuckles at his letter, which explains his desire to work honestly with his brother. Peh-yan's heartfelt letter was addressed to Pah-chin, which described his loneliness after Pah-chin's arrest and detention. Upon hearing this, Pah-chin sobs in happiness.

As Draken solemnly reads his letter, Takemichi asks what he put in. Draken holds up a photo, which Takemichi recognizes as the picture they took on Toman's disbandment. Reading his letter aloud, Draken finds it filled with questions, from his current interests to his relationships. He inquires if he still follows Mikey. When Toman disbanded, it left Draken at an indecisive point in his life. Although he stated that he had no objections to Mikey's decision, he does not want Toman to end. Though he has agonized over this, he is sure Mikey suffered more. Lastly, Draken reminds himself that Emma will always be with him. After the group somberly listens to Draken's letter, Draken suggests they open Mikey's letter.